I'm ready for retirement. I really am. All this going to school, finding a job, being unhappy with that job, getting more training to get a small pay raise, getting a career, working in that career for much too long, all the while going through things like embarrassing Christmas parties with coworkers and dismal birthdays spent in a depressing break room (also with coworkers) eating cake that I would never otherwise eat but Debbie (coworker) ordered special so I can't refuse... That stuff can all go to hell. I am ok with retiring right now. I already have all the characteristics of a retiree anyway.
I was considering doing a few "Reasons Why I am an Old Lady" posts independent of one another, and maybe I still will but GP and I were just talking about retirement and how fantastic it would be, so I thought I'd amalgamate all my age-inappropriate fantasies into one post... For now.
Let me set the stage for you, so you can know that even just sitting here at the computer I am being an old person. None of this is made up. My desk, first of all, is an antique. It's not expensive or anything but it is from an old school house in Ontario, and it has iron legs. Retirees love antiques because they (antiques) are old. Friskies is sleeping nearby (I need say no more). My computer and printer are both old and ugly, but maintained well and in perfect working order. Old people (like me) don't see the point in getting "snazzy" new things when their old things work just fine. There's a sticky note on the wall facing my desk reminding me to sit up straight. In the same vein, I am sitting on an exercise ball. Old people know the importance of correct posture (or, at least, many of the ones I know do). I'm drinking tea. That's not necessarily an old person thing in and of itself, but I am very particular about how my tea is made and what kind of tea I like (none of that hippie crap with the herbs), and how much milk I like in it. Everyone knows old people are ornery about weird things.
The previous paragraph is just the tip of the iceberg of the old person-ness I experience on a day-to-day basis. That list was just the things I'm doing right now as I type this. Nevermind the fact that I did some gardening today, looked at knitting patterns for longer than I care to admit, made trips to several specialty shops for different things (meat, bananas, dry cleaning, all at different places), and did my recycling. Recycling isn't part of it, but it is important.
My fantasies for retirement include:
1. Having a hobby farm with a full garden from which I can harvest many things to preserve for the winter.
2. Getting up at 5 every day to tend to said farm, and to sit in the kitchen and play solitaire while GP sleeps. My uncle (originally I had his name and occupation here, but then I realized he probably wouldn't want to be associated with this ridiculous excuse for a blog) does this and it seems like a great way to spend a morning.
3. Knitting. A lot.
4. Enjoying the benefits of a reduced appetite and an increased penchant for afternoon strolls.
5. Puttering.
6. Taking up an obscure hobby like glassblowing or cat photography. (Or both, combined?)
Well, I guess I should put an end to all this fantasizing. After I do my homework, I plan to round this day out with an appropriately early bed time, right after I check tomorrow's weather forecast and lay out my clothes accordingly.
We all know retirees have no clue how to blog.
ReplyDeleteI think you and GP should buy an far too large RV and tour the country, giving roadside talks on literature and heavy metal.
It's scary how much I agree.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't know who this "KB" is, but I'm the literature/heavy metal expert around here, and don't you forget it.
KB- My aptitude with technology goes about as far as blogging, I can assure you. I have no idea how to do all the fancy personalization stuff you see in the blogs of more savvy people.
ReplyDeleteKB and LTS- I could give talks on sociolinguistic issues, maybe, but not literature... Unless it's very superficial reviews of Margaret Atwood novels.
I now also have a sticky note about posture... Good idea.
ReplyDeleteI find it funny that you think it's all old person stuff that you do. Most of the time, like sitting up straight, it's practicality. If you sit up straight, and use those muscles, you won't become a hunchback when those muscles start degrading.
ReplyDeleteKnitting I think of as a bygone era, but not necessarily always done by old people. Think of all the young housewives that knitted. They were young... 60 years ago. Plus, what you're getting is the satisfaction of making something from scratch. Many people cannot say that they've created toques or mittens or socks from scratch. All we have to do is go out and buy those now. Same goes for growing your own food.
As for drinking tea, I always drink tea, but I never thought of it as an "old" person thing to do. Or even being particular about how it's made, loose leaf vs bagged, warmed milk, 1 cube of sugar, etc etc. For me, it's more of a comfort thing.
I'm not trying to argue all that you say, but maybe think about what you do as being you rather than "being old".