Twas The First Christmas in Our Own House

'Twas a dark, windy, rainy night, when all through the house,
Quite a few sounds were heard (the cats chasing a toy mouse).
The stockings were hung, by the gas fireplace we share;
They cover holes in the stonework we'd like to fix there.

This dark December night found us nestled all snug in our bed
With visions of renos dancing in sugar plums' stead
The fleece sheets on the bed and a cat in my lap,
We'd just settled in for a long winter's nap

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I put on my sweatpants to survey the matter
I headed over to the window, which was cold as shit.
We'll budget for double-glazed when we replace it.

The sky was pitch black with rain coming down strong
It was just a small clang, I was sure nothing's wrong.
GP was still sleeping and I thought to head back
To continue relaxing in the ol' fart sack

"It's always so damn hot in here", methinks
The air circulation in our house, frankly, stinks
One day we'll get a system to distribute hot and cold
We were prepared to have quirks in a house this old

Sleeping was a lost cause, so I got ready for the day
"Sleep when you're dead", isn't that what they say?
I headed to the basement for clean underpants
Laundry's down there (with, until recently, carpenter ants)

It's damp in the basement, with a few termites too
Add in the two cats and it's almost a zoo!
I came up the stairs to feed the two beasts
Into the dining room, where we've had lots of feasts

This is where the ghost lives, who opens the doors
Knocks down jars from the shelf and taps on the floors
We think s/he's friendly, so no worry there,
Except for the pockets of icy cold air

I head back up to the bedroom and to my delight
I can hear rain pitter-patter on our upstairs skylight
This house sure has character, that's easy to see
The coved ceilings and plaster endear it to me

Ok, I'll admit, there's not much closet space
But look at our wood floors and kitschy stone fireplace!
The spacious backyard and recent deck renovations                                                                                                             Give us ample room for enjoying summer libations

Right then was high time for my morning cup of tea
I switched on the stove and got out my mug, just for me
The kitchen windows face east, which is pleasing to the eyes
As it allows a perfect view of the late winter sunrise

I sit here and wait for the kettle to boil
And worry about bills: electric and oil
I'm lucky to have a great life such as this:
More good days than bad, and a few moments of bliss

The basement is damp and the yard's a lot to manage,
It'll need some repair because of water damage.
There's not much storage, little room for hockey gloves
But it's got charm a-plenty and it's filled with lotsa love.

It's sure not for everyone and there are bumps along the way
We weren't surprised to learn we'd have hefty bills to pay.
I make my morning cup of tea, quiet as a mouse.
So enjoying our first Christmas season in our first little house.

Cool Running

It's kind of cold out here. Should I lock the door? Nah, GP's in there. He's fine. I don't want to have to carry a key. Maybe I should've worn a long-sleeve. I hope I'm reflective enough. It's going to be so nice to watch the sunrise as I go past the harbour, if I get that far. Ok. Let's start the stopwatch. 30 seconds running, 90 walking. Ugh, that's embarrassing. Oh well, gotta re-start somewhere. I hope the music works if the stopwatch is on at the same time. Oh good. Yes. Rolling Stones, Beast of Burden, perfect warm up song. Still cold out here. At least I can't see my breath. Fucking iPod headphones. I need to find my other ones that stay on better. It's nice out here. I hope I don't run into any weirdos. It fucking sucks that I have to think about that shit when I go out for a simple run. Solidarity, lady runners. An upbeat John Legend tune... I can deal with that! Is that a seagull? They're not so annoying as background noise. This isn't so bad. Glad I'm doing yoga with Heather tonight. I wish GP was a morning/outdoor running person. Fuck, my toe hurts. I wish Mike hadn't stepped on it when I was trying to teach him salsa. I hope my toenail doesn't come off. Pussycat Dolls! YES! Oh, damn, the file was corrupted. I'll have to download that song again. Enya? No, what was I thinking? Note to self: make a better playlist for running. Halfway here and I'm almost at the gangway at the Yacht Club. Not bad. I can't wait to see where I am next time! Time to turn around. Shit, out of batteries? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine..........................................Thirty. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.............................................Ninety. Spine long. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine..........................................Thirty. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.............................................Ninety. Shoulders down. Hands loose. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine..........................................Thirty. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.............................................Ninety. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine..........................................Thirty. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.............................................Ninety. I guess I'll walk the rest of the way for a cool-down. I'm so lucky to live here. Hi, kitty! It's kind of hot inside.

Chillin' Out Max

...And relaxin' all cool... Ok, so that is a super nerdy way to start a blog post, but I'm allowed because I MADE CHAIRS. I started these puppies last summer and finished them, well, this evening. I don't really have a good reason for taking a year to make these, other than not wanting to have to spend hours deciding on fabric and paint and the fact that we didn't have a decent power sander, and buying one wasn't a priority at the time and I would never DREAM of hand-sanding that shit. Really, I can't articulate enough how difficult a decision these colours were. Obviously, they work fantastically well and I'm very pleased with them because I have fabulous taste, but fabulous taste doesn't come easily, you know.

So anyway, without further ado, I'd like to introduce my sling chairs, specifically designed for the beach by some broad at this blog. How did I make them, you ask? Well, first I sanded a year's worth of sitting outside (under the deck, out of the rain, but still outside) off the wood. It needed it.

Then I painted the chair frames. Originally, I tried spray paint, which was a bloody nightmare because it runs out really fast, takes a month of Sundays to dry, and doesn't cover worth shit. I didn't bother taking a picture because it looked ugly as sin. So I painted over that regretful event with Annie Sloan chalk paint in Aubusson Blue. (Note: it's not actually paint for chalkboards; it's paint for furniture, which requires no primer and has low VOCs and covers like a dream. It just has a smooth chalky finish, hence the name.) Worked like a hot damn and I'm so happy with the colour. I didn't take a picture of the painted frames because I was too jazzed about the project to document it. I have no regrets, as it would've been a pretty boring photo.

Next, I sewed the fabric slings from outdoor material. They're reversible. (Ooooh!) Obviously someone had to overlook the operation and give me pointers.










 Last, I slipped them through the purpose-made slots and shoved the dowels into the purpose-sewn pockets and, voila, chairs. They'll be perfect for our new house.

Oh, yeah, we bought a house! I'm sure anyone reading this knows that already, but I'm just writing it down for posterity, as this will likely be the last post I write before we live in our very own house on Chestnut Street. What an adorable address.









 The Reese Beast wishes you a thuggin' summer, yo!

Capably Coping with Choir, Coworkers, and Cats

I have been busy lately. GP and I are in the market for a house, the cat has been as ravenous as ever (I started a Twitter account just to document the crazy shit she eats) and I've been to two weddings. Plants and flowers are growing in the garden and on the windowsill, work is pummeling forward at a break-neck pace, my taxes are now more than a week overdue and I am finding myself happily overwhelmed with it all.

Last week I got a cold. It occurred to me that every year in the spring time I get a cold. Not allergies, but a vicious cold. A couple years ago it was pneumonia and before that it was scarlet fever. I guess that's my body's way of saying "stop doing so goddamn much" and I rarely listen. Ok, self, you have my attention; I'm listening now.

GP and I are going to visit his grandmother who is celebrating her 90th birthday this year. She is a wonderful woman who I doubt has ever said anything mean in her life. Clearly we have a lot in common (heh). I wonder if she ever gets overwwhelmed now. I don't think so, somehow. I think if there are too many things going on, she has the wisdom to know that the storm is bound to blow over sometime. Do you think that's the secret to life? I'm not sure, but it's working for me right now!

You Ask, You Receive

I'm writing this as the cat sits on my chest, so I'm going to keep it short. Since you friends asked for photos of my new clothes and since I think it's dumb to post those kinds of photos on Facebook (not entirely sure why, but I think it has something to do with not wanting other people to feel bad about how they're not as awesome as I am), I'm putting the photos here instead of there.

Without further ado, here's my stuff. The jeans and long-sleeve navy blue top are not new. Please excuse the stain on my long-sleeve top. GP has clearly been slacking in his laundry duties and has failed to Shout® that shit.



Yes, that shirt has tiny cats all over it. Note: if you ever buy me a gift, please do not think that because I really like cats I would like to start a cat-themed collection of decor/clothing/accessories/teaspoons/any combination of these items or others. If you'd like me to have a cat-related thing, give me money and I will buy it myself if I like it. There is nothing I hate more than tacky shit that collects dust, except for maybe Enbridge and/or Stephen Harper. Anyway, now is not the time or place for politics. Moving on...


I just had to include the above photo. She's so fucking cute.